Knocked down by a torn MCL

What are you passionate about? Is there something you really enjoy doing? Do you play the piano? Is photography your forte? Gardening? Cooking?…Blogging? What about sports and outdoor activities? Whatever your niche, what if you couldn’t enjoy your passion anymore? What if you lost all ability to perform that activity, or the ability to perform it to your fullest?

It’s not a good feeling. I know because I tore my MCL.

Football (soccer), running, yoga, swimming, hiking – these are the top fitness activities I really enjoy. I’ve been doing these activities for a few years. Football: on and off for nearly 15 years; running (minus the Track & Field days): 6 years; yoga: on and off for 5 years; swimming: the latest addition, for 3 years; and hiking: whenever the opportunity arises.

Since I tore my MCL three years ago, it seems I’m more prone to injuries these days. I’ve injured both knees about five times. And when I get wiped out with a knee injury, it takes me longer each time to recover. I’ve learned to toss my stubbornness aside and listen to the doctor when he tells me that ‘you have to quit soccer and running for a few months’. Hearing that is as hard as following the treatment he prescribes. It leaves a total void that I can’t imagine filling with anything else.

My problem with having ruined my MCL is not the ability to handle pain, but the disappointment of the whole thing. I feel disappointed, I feel threatened and weakened, I feel lost – it feels like in-between each injury, a piece of me withers away. I feel like a caged animal when I go to a game but I can’t play.

I’ve always been an active person. I’m one of a few people I know who actually enjoys working-out/staying fit. Football and being active have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. So yes, I might be feeling like I’m losing a piece of my identity.

But all is not lost. Tearing my MCl reminds me that I’m only human, I’m not unbreakable. The incident’s reminded me to be humble, and not to take things for granted. It’s given me a better sense of awareness about my body, about my physical and mental strengths. And because of that, I’m finding more positive ways to deal with this minor setback.

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~ by omonaij on May 13, 2012.

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